


To Love

by MrRee



Category: Persona 4
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship, bffs having ~feelings~, cutesy shennanigans, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 21:26:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2403419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrRee/pseuds/MrRee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is some unresolved tension between the two, and Yosuke in uncertain how to go about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Love

**Author's Note:**

> for [bedsafely]

The sunny morning gave way to cloud cover around noon, shortly followed by a steady, yet light, rain that drenched all of Inaba. Puddles accumulated in the streets, and the trees, still sporting green leaves as the late summer slowly drew to a close, persisted to make the heavier plops of the drops land directly upon Yosuke’s head. Someone at work stole his umbrella (again, probably to get back at the Prince of Junes for ruining their parent’s business), making him have to walk briskly home. His clothes felt soaked, and, while he was not paying attention, he stepped into one of the massive puddles expanding across the road. Groaning, he hopped over the rest of the puddle and hurried to Aiya’s, hoping he was not _too_ late for the meeting.

He slid the door open, and the very smell of the food made his stomach gurgle. Several people huddled around various tables, but the one in the corner, armed with chopsticks and chewing a huge hunk of meat, caught Yosuke’s attention. He brushed by the other patrons, hoping the squishing of the water sloshing in his shoes was not too loud, and sat across from Souji, who barely looked up while gnawing on some more noodles.

 _“Oh,”_ Yosuke said with some realization, “you got the Beef Bowl Challenge, huh?”

“I swear,” Souji muttered, appearing more flustered than usual, “I’m going to eat all of it this time.” He put down the chopsticks for a moment, reclining back in the seat while staring dazedly up at the ceiling, before shifting his gaze to Yosuke. A small, somewhat sleepy smile drifted on his lips, and Yosuke looked away, feeling his ears burn. “How was work?”

“Oh, y’know.” Yosuke coughed to clear his throat and waved his hand dismissively. “Boring, as usual, followed with the stereotypical ‘why don’t you have X?’ and ‘where’s the manager,’ but not before a huge line of customers swamping the check-out lines and that _one_ person who _has_ to have _every glass_ item wrapped— _twice.”_ He dropped his face into his palm and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m just a high school kid! I can’t make miracles happen instantaneously, jeez! People just don’t understand how hard retail is.” He paused, watching Souji nibble at a few noodles, before picking up the extra set of chopsticks. “Hey, mind if I have some?”

“Go ahead. I told the owner I was buying this for two.” Souji smiled. “The chef asked if it were for my girlfriend. I said he was close enough.” His smile widened as Yosuke sputtered while attempting to chew his food. “I’m _kidding,”_ he said, scooping up some more noodles. “Why are you so wet, by the way? Did you forget your umbrella again?”

“Something like that.” The mentioning of it made the clothes clinging to his skin feel much more uncomfortable, but he shrugged. “It’s fine—we’re going to my place after this, anyways, right?” Souji raised an eyebrow, prompting Yosuke to quickly clarify. “To—to do homework! Not ‘cause— _dammit,_ Souji, why do you keep doing that?”

“It’s fun to see you get all flustered. Look,” his chopsticks gestured to Yosuke’s face, “your cheeks and ears are all red.”

“Dude, shut _up.”_ Honestly, Souji took the teasing too far sometimes. But was Yosuke’s partner simply teasing, or was there an underlying confession hidden somewhere in his tone? Sometimes Yosuke could not tell, and was often grateful that he could not. The idea that there might be something _more_ to them than a best friendship—the best of best friendships, in his opinion—made his stomach gnaw with worry and, much to his irritation, anticipation. His mind suggested _hope_ in that list as well, but he immediately dismissed it. Hope? For something like that?

What did _that_ even refer to? What did it even mean? As if Yosuke had some _feelings_ for Souji that were currently unresolved and more than likely unrequited? As if!

“You have been chewing on your chopsticks for the past three minutes,” Souji mentioned, making Yosuke’s eyes widen and remove the bitten chopsticks from his mouth. “Are you all right? You seem to have something heavy on your mind.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, dude. Don’t worry ‘bout it.” All right, so _maybe_ there was a little tiny bit of unresolved tension with Yosuke’s own feelings revolving around Souji’s complete obliviousness to the hints that maybe kinda sorta Yosuke possibly had the potential to, say, have an ungodly large crush approximately the size of the solar system. Only _hypothetically,_ though, because declaring something definite in regards to feelings could become something dangerous. Perhaps, if Yosuke maintained his libido of self-denial and half-recognition, the feelings would someday disappear, much like Souji would in several months. Yosuke’s grip tightened on the chopsticks as he stared down the hunk of meat that appeared to leer at him. “It’s nothing,” he repeated, uncertain of whether he was directing that to himself or Souji.

“All right, then,” Souji replied, leaning back in his seat as if to give Yosuke some much-needed space. “But remember, I am always here to listen. It is no bother.”

“I know, I know.” He pushed away the bowl with a disheartened groan. “I don’t think I can eat anymore—did we even make a dent in it?”

“No.” Souji’s nose wrinkled in disapproval before shaking his head. “We haven’t. It really is a portal to the Meat Dimension.”

“Jeez, don’t tell Chie—she’d jump in before even stopping to think twice.” He fished out his wallet before Souji could make a move towards his own wallet. “Don’t even _think_ about it, partner. I’ve got it this time. You bought me new weapons yesterday, remember? I’d be an ass if I let you pay.”

“Are you sure?” Souji asked, but Yosuke already got up, walking over to the large counter top where the owner’s daughter stood with a blank look on her face. Fortunately, she always looked like she judged everything, so Yosuke felt a tad relieved when her expression did not change at his wet clothes or shaggy appearance overall. The cost of the beef bowl struck a minor sting on his wallet, but he pocketed the receipt so that Souji could not see. The poor guy worried about nearly everything as is; Yosuke did not want to add to that burden too much.

“So, my place?” Yosuke asked, stepping outside. The rain barely lightened over the course of the meal, but the sky darkened, and the streetlights began to flicker to life. “Aw, man, I don’t want to walk in the rain again…”

Souji opened his umbrella and held it over Yosuke’s head. “We can share mine,” he said quietly, the faint lighting coming from Aiya’s paper-thin doors reflecting in his eyes. The dim light contoured Souji’s face almost a little too well, making Yosuke duck his own out of embarrassment.

“Dude,” he whispered, glancing around the street to make sure no one else was looking, “that’s a little, uh, weird, isn’t it?”

“No one’s going to be out in this rain.”

“Still weird.”

“Your choice,” Souji replied as he started down the street, “but I don’t think you want to get even more wet, do you?”

The chill from wearing wet clothes made Yosuke’s spine shudder, prompting him to catch up with his partner, hiding from the rain beneath the clear umbrella. The walk to Yosuke’s place was surprisingly silent; where there should have been idle conversation was only a lingering feeling of awkwardness. Yosuke hesitated, and then brought himself to look over at Souji, who stared straight ahead, mouth drawn in a tight line, as if focused on getting to Yosuke’s place. He only had that look whenever he needed to concentrate, much like in battle or studying for an exam. Either way, he was _thinking_ about something—but what? Yosuke wanted to ask, but his question failed to reach his lips as his fleeting courage to start up a conversation fled from him when Souji turned his head.

“So,” his partner said before stopping.

“So,” Yosuke echoed, voice strained.

When did this start? They used to talk about everything under the sun, plus some. And now, as they exchanged furtive glances, they could barely summon the courage to talk to one another. Of course, Yosuke could not fool himself—it started three days ago, when Yosuke asked Souji over the phone, _“Hey, you wanna go to Aiya’s after my shift on Friday?”_

 _“Like a date?”_ Souji asked with a small laugh.

 _“…Something like that,”_ Yosuke replied, with a fleeting moment of yearning in his otherwise joking tone that did not go entirely unnoticed.

The phone call ended shortly thereafter with drastically shortened sentences, but Souji still said, _“Sounds good.”_ Yosuke’s tight grip on his cellphone did not lessen, even after the phone call ended.

And now the two stood still, almost dumbly, in the rain, surrounded by puddles, drenched buildings, and soaked trees. No other person wandered down the street, and they were undeniably alone, silently staring at each other. With the help of the nearby streetlight, Yosuke could make out the faint coloring in Souji’s cheeks as his lips parted, eyebrows somewhat furrowing together in confusion. A dim softness made his sharp, steel-gray eyes appear less harsh and intimidating as usual, drawing Yosuke’s face a tad closer.

“So,” Souji said again, much quieter as their faces became a few inches apart. Yosuke tried not to notice how bad Souji’s breath smelled from eating all that meat earlier, and mentally prepared for the leap across the daunting precipice that could change everything forever. Did he really want to go through with this? His arms, dangling by his sides, grew numb from the cold, and his feet hurt from standing for most of the afternoon—more than anything, he wanted to get home, but he felt trapped in the look Souji gave him.

“So,” Yosuke repeated, unable to think of anything creative. Their lips were too close now, and, for a brief moment, he could feel Souji’s bottom lip almost wedging itself between his own—

An abruptly loud jingle resonated from Yosuke’s damp jean pocket, causing the two of them to separate and look away from each other. Heart pounding painfully in his chest, Yosuke pulled out the cellphone—his parents both sent him a text, probably asking where he was. With a shaky laugh, he opened the phone.

“My parents,” he said, and began walking. “They’re wondering where I am. We should hurry up.”

Souji walked alongside him, and the silence reinserted itself between them as the rain pattered against the plastic of the umbrella.

*

Yosuke’s mother only harped at him for a little while—“No calls, no texts, and look at your _clothes!”_ —before finally releasing him from her harping clutches. Teddie swooped in to drag Souji away towards the large flat-screen TV, where some movie was playing. Yosuke watched them momentarily once his mother shuffled back to the kitchen, staring at his partner’s back, before going upstairs to change clothes. He completely forgot how messy his room was, but at that moment, the only thing that bothered him was the pain in his chest. What the _hell_ was he thinking? Face flushed, he pulled off his shirt, throwing it into a pile of other worn shirts, before rummaging through the chest of drawers to find an adequate replacement.

“Yos—oh.”

Of _course_ he left the door open so Souji could just waltz in without warning. Yosuke sputtered, and then quickly grabbed a random shirt before pulling it on. The tag itched his neck, forcing him to maneuver it to face the right way without taking the shirt off again. He forced a grin, somewhat exasperated, though Souji politely looked down at the floor, appearing greatly interested in the clump of dirt living in the desolate corner of the room.

“Sorry,” Souji said before jabbing a thumb down the hall. “Teddie wants to know if you want to watch _Spirited Away._ Apparently he’s been marathoning Studio Ghibli all day. If I had known, I would’ve have brought Nanako along, too.” He smiled faintly, but it dropped when he bit his lower lip, eyes avoiding Yosuke’s. “Um,” he added unhelpfully, and then stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I guess I will wait downstairs, I suppose.”

Yosuke watched him turn to leave before saying, “Wait!”

The sudden outburst made Souji flinch, but he stayed regardless. Yosuke’s mouth went dry, brain fumbling with different phrases to say, but none of them made sense. Why did this have to happen, with _Souji,_ of all people? He was a dude, and dudes did not date other dudes, or fall in lo—he cut that thought off before it finished. This entire situation seemed completely ridiculous.

“…Yes?” Souji prompted, and Yosuke sucked in a deep breath.

“We,” he started, rubbed the back of his neck, and then continued, “we need to talk.”

Souji nodded, and closed the bedroom door behind him.

“This thing,” Yosuke said, pointing between the two of them before trailing off.

“Is it a thing?” Souji asked, still averting his gaze.

“I don’t know.” Man, could he sound any lamer? Yosuke shifted his weight from one foot to the other, feeling the folds of his wet jeans stick to his thighs. He ran a hand through his hair, making the bangs stick up peculiarly. “I guess it could be, if we… if you… wanted to.”

Souji brought his hand up to his lips, contemplating. “…Do _you_ want to?”

 _“No”_ was his immediate thought. What would his parents think? Their friends? His ego? But the more he thought about their relationship, and how it grew, he could not help but think about what it would be like to date Souji, the heart-breaker of Inaba. _“Yes,”_ his heart added to the fray. Who cared what the others thought? He was so _bored,_ bored of living in a dull town out in the middle of nowhere, and Souji, Souji brought him fun, laughter, and, occasionally, tears. Yosuke _needed_ Souji, and the thought of his partner pairing with someone else made his guts churn. It took him months to realize this fact, and he needed to admit that, sometimes, liking someone meant ignoring “proper” gender roles.

“Maybe,” he answered, fingers instinctively reaching for the headphone cord that currently was not there. His headphones resided on the desk, where he left them whenever he had work. “I just don’t know—I mean, say that we did. Hypothetically. What would that even _mean?”_

“Whatever you think it means.” Souji took a step forward.

“And if I said it could mean…” Yosuke paused, watching Souji nervously approach. “…it could mean being partners in the _literal_ sense, how would you feel?”

“I,” Souji said, slight tremor betraying his seemingly stoic expression as he stood in front of Yosuke, “think I would like that. Very much.”

Not exactly new to the dating scene, Yosuke knew how to bring himself to kiss someone, but he never did so with a guy before. Usually, he would initiate it with his blushing ex-girlfriends, but this time, as Souji kept looking away like he did not know what to do, Yosuke wondered if he should wait for his partner. Besides, Souji always took the lead. But maybe Souji never kissed anyone before? Clicking his tongue, Yosuke, ignoring his nerves for a brief second, pulled Souji down by the collar and brought their lips together. Teeth nearly clacked together, but, thankfully, Yosuke managed to tilt his head fast enough to avoid that unpleasant sensation. His fingers trembled, his grip wavering, before he finally released him and looked away, lips and ears burning.

The almost ever-present silence took hold once more while Souji touched his lips gently, face becoming such a bright red that Yosuke thought he would turn into a watermelon.

“Um,” he said.

“Yeah,” Yosuke replied with a quick nod as he tried to calm his nerves.

“You, uh, you kiss really good.”

“Huh?” Yosuke’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Dude—dude, that wasn’t even a good kiss—I was breathing too hard through my nose, and—”

“I wouldn’t know.” Souji made an embarrassed noise before burying his head in his hands. “I have never done it before.”

 _“Seriously?”_ To think Yosuke had more experience or talent than Souji in literally anything baffled him, yet the thought that he took Souji’s first kiss kind of made him elated. “Wow. I, uh, didn’t know. So, wait, did you really think it was that good?”

Souji nodded. “I… yeah.”

They looked at each other for another moment.

“So,” Yosuke said, recalling their previous conversation outside. “What now?”

“We go watch a movie with Teddie?”

“No, I meant about _us,_ doofus.”

“Oh. Won’t it just be the same like it always has been?” Souji’s face still had a tint of red, giving Yosuke a sense of accomplishment— _he_ made _Souji_ blush. “Just with, you know.” He hesitated, and then pecked a kiss on Yosuke’s cheek. “With stuff like that in between.”

“With stuff like that,” he repeated, feeling his own face turn red.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. Okay. That sounds… That sounds really good.” Yosuke managed another grin, one that felt a little stronger than the previous one. Souji returned the grin before glancing at the door.

“We should probably head back down before Teddie starts without us.”

“Oh, _right._ Yeah, lemme just get changed out of the jeans real quick, and I’ll be right down.” He raised an eyebrow playfully. “Unless you want to watch?”

 _“Yosuke,”_ Souji said, hiding his face in his palms once again. Yosuke laughed hard as Souji left the room, closing the door behind him.

Little steps.

Yosuke was not sure if he was necessarily completely in love with Souji, but the warm, fuzzy feelings he got as he walked down the stairs holding hands with his partner told him that this was something worth living for. Teddie remarked on how flushed they looked, to which they only responded with exchanging glances and smiling widely. They held hands underneath the couch’s pillow as they watched the little girl named Chihiro try to save her parents while Teddie hogged all the popcorn.

For now, Yosuke thought as he glanced at Souji, who smiled gently back at him, this was enough.


End file.
